One Saturday night my mind has wondered aimlessly into the chaos. Spend that night with me.
Listening to nujabes, late at night, music flows through my ears like eagles piercing the air at high speed. I got myself into minor problems but it should be okay. my family supports me although I take it for granted, im a bad son, I know that.
Have you read the kite runner by hosseini? Read it. It feels you up with tears and smiles we all experienced during childhood.
I think I have ideas. I believe to be special. I am such an egoist it’s hard to imagine anyone worse. contradictions contradictions contradictions …
Eragorn was written by a teenager with support from his parents and some luck. I genuinely enjoyed reading it. Why can’t I produce something of this scope?
The poetry is the triumph of humanity, word porn for anybody willing to read. It has no effect on me though, I think poetry wasn’t supposed to be read, it was supposed to be sang by elves from Tolkien’s world, by Kvothe and his gentle touches of medieval lute, accompanied by soft touches of piano from Your Lie In April. Poetry was supposed to go together with videography and interactivity, by virtual experience and human emotions.
Rumi tells tales of wine and celebration. Bukowski’s depressive nature reveals itself though his despicable life experiences. But the mood is easier set when we combine poetry with other art, creating an ambiance around the message to be delivered, the idea to be said.
Lofi hop-hop is the closest thing I can think of for a poet to be involved with. My taste probably sucks but at least I'm telling the truth.
Saul williams (instrumental?), trans and tweaked billie ellish sound. This is how I amagine the audio identity to be. A movie set in egyptians sands, on the verge of psychosis. Weird people. And poetry everywhere.
I think infinitywriter is a good pseudonym. I didn't come up with it, I just felt attached to the word infinity for no reason. The idea of writing a post about the infinite tsukuyomi came out of of it. I don't know what I am going to do with it but it feels right. I am excited.
Living inside your dream. Living inside a fantasy world where you see whatever only you would want to see. Pain in Naruto thought it would make everyone happy and stop the wars. But do we want to be happy all the time? The feeling of sadness is a strong opposite, equally attractive in my opinion. Like Yin and Yang we experience both, bringing a certain structure to our lives, a natural balance. We only strive for happiness, but there is an idea of a the backwards law of happiness. It is my idea although I read the title of it somewhere else. There is no such thing as constant happiness. The meaning ceases its attractiveness once it becomes constant.
So a question, would we strive for sadness inside the Infinite Tsukuyomi? And if so, what kind of sad feeling would we want to experience?
Illusions…
Bukowski says I can't write. He says I'm not worth it. He says even if I keep trying and trying I will not reach the skies. Bukowski is great, but fuck him, I will find my own way, I will acquire my own voice, my own opinion.
Where is this obsession with writing comes from anyway? I thought I wanted to use new technologies to deliver my message. Then why day I after day I keep writing and not learning 3D modelling or some other complex shit?
I've been saying lately that I never do long distance relationships. I don't care about you as long as you are in the far lands, enjoying you fun things. But the boy on the moon said to be true to your self and speak up when no one else would. It's late at night and I am still thinking about you. My other interests fade away and I am paralysed whenever that strong feeling takes my whole life, all my thoughts, my happiness.
I hate coming up with commercial titles to sell my story, so if you only act on your biases and nudges you will never understand the heart of the writer.
For the most part of my life I've been lost in the dark, like most of us are. I've been up there, doing different things, following the crowd, following other people's dreams and desires, exploring our world, finding my true voice.
